Now, every family should have a family history, no? So. Our family was formed earlier this year when our (soon to be) fps mentor ms may tan asked if any of us would like to try out fps! And so our family was formed. Audrye, Huimin, Chris-Tin and Shuting.
Since march we have battled through problems, underlying problems, solutions, criteria, ranking and action plans, at the same time braving global warming, freedom of speech and most recently, nutrition.
Our unofficial meeting venue was always Chris-tin's house, and in the process, all of us gained weight with all the many many many marks and spencers cookies and ruffles we had! So much for learning about all the transfat.
It was in this intellectual environment that chemical bonding took place! In the end, we officially became the fps family, which can withstand high temperatures without any change in state. XD
A note about the name! reverse electrolysis was one of our action plans! and fps stands for Future Problem Solving!
Did you know? Chris-Tin killed the blog the first time because she didnt know that half the html for the blog was cut off, and she saved the template changes! so she had to do it all over again. ):
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
ME ME ME I GET THE 100th POST!!! HURRAY!!!! <3 arent you proud of me heehee! and it shall be a relatively happy one not like the last... 15 or so.
i'm going to ignore it now. i know ignoring is not exactly dealing with it, but i think if i try to think past the angst and emo-ness, then i can see more clearly. then deal with the emotion.
to tell the truth i was so angry at you last night. but see, only the ones you love most can make you so angry so therefore (ah you get the picture). to me it was like crashing down, and that you came and slapped me on the face. but in the end, i understand now that that hurt was more than enough to make me realise what i was doing. and how stupid and idiotic it was. im glad that you didnt give me your sympathy, and that you didnt tell me that time will heal all wounds. i wanted help, and you came through. i needed to wake up, and thats exactly what you helped me to do. <3
so anyway i shall try very hard now, and it wont be easy, but...
i am strong when i am on your shoulders. (:
this is an ode to the emokid, in tribute to a new beginning.
(sung to the tune of desperado)
emokid, why dont you come to your senses
been out climbing fences, for so long now
oh you're a sad one, but i know you got your reasons,
these things that are hurting you, will hurt you somemore.
don't you draw around with sharp things, kid
they'll scar you if they're able
you know that taking heart is always your best bet
Now it seems to me that some fine things
have been laid upon your table
but you only want the ones that you dont have...
emokid, oh you aint getting no higher
your pain and your angst are, driving you home
elation! oh elation, that seems like annoying talking
remember you're not walking through this all alone.
don't your cheeks get wet in the darkest times,
the sky dont snow and the sun dont shine
it's hard to tell the nighttime from the day.
you're losing all your self control
aint it funny how the feeling wont go away...
emokid, why dont you come to your senses,
escape from that sad world, open the gate.
it may be raining, but there's a rainbow above you
remember somebody loves you (oh somebody loves you!)
remember somebody loves you, before it's too late.
family meeting at 10:16 PM
i want you to know that
I AM VERY ANGRY WITH YOU.but since anger stems from fear, it also means that
I AM VERY SCARED FOR YOU.whose feet can you stand up upon, if not your own?
where do you go, if you don't give yourself a chance to walk again?
the end is near yet so far.
do you reach for it with a smile
or do you watch it fade away into the distance.
to choose to run to hide to cower is a choice all the same,
but if you learn to only see your reflection in that empty half of the glass,
there might one day be no turning back.
family meeting at 12:16 AM
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
i DONT KNOW. I CANT. i know i'm supposed to be stronger. i always thought i would be stronger than this. its been going on for so long i dont remember why. i just feel the sadness the pain the dejection the turmoil and I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. and I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE. ASK ME WHY. ASK ME WHY I DO IT.
i dont want to feel. please. no more.
family meeting at 10:34 PM
Sunday, February 25, 2007
the world is full of angels, idiots and inorganic material.
the track is rather interesting at night. espeically when you're sitting there on your own. your thoughts can just travel out into the open and you never have to think anymore.
me, my solitude and my ruler.
Amicus optima vitae possessio
family meeting at 3:03 PM
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
let me tell you a story.
one day, an innocent girl decided that she was going to sleep. so, she went to brush her teeth. after that, she needed to put on her rubberbands. SO, she opened her drawer. and when she did, she saw... A FREAKING COCKROACH ON TOP OF HER STUFF. Upon unleashing a great SCREAM, she ran into her parents room and dragged her mummy out of bed. armed with baygon and a plastic bag, mummy trapped the evasive cockroach under the traumatised girl's study table.
needless to say the cockroach is now dead, killed by my mummy's capable hands. but now i know. if i scream in the middle of the night, no one is going to wake up and save me. seriously! so now my fan is turned on and my door is open to get the baygon smell out of my room. therefore i am blogging as i wait.
ah oh well. at least i dont swear to stare at my table for the entire night unlike SOME PEOPLE. mm i wonder who. =D slack training tmr (i mean um today.)! i bet all of us will be moaning and groaning after an entire week of no training + alot of bad BAD B A D (but oh so yummy) goodness! (OXYMORON - oh btw my dad claims that the dictionary doesnt recognize oxymoron as word, i shall go check it out soon)
i should go count my money soon. (yes i shall deposit it ALL into the bank i swear! except maybe the $2 notes) as my cousin joshua said as we were gambling, "ISHAK! give me luck!" joshua is hilarious xD he's 21? or 22.
take for example:
mummy: i'm so hot! (ok this is meant in the non-suggestive way so stop thinking weird things about my mummy!!!!) my shirt cannot breathe! (of course she means that its made out of non-breathable material)
joshua: of course what, it doesnt have a respiratory system.
ok maybe that wasnt very funny but it was at that moment k! ok i think i shall go sleep now. goodnight everyone!
family meeting at 1:20 AM
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACQ (1 hour and 47 minutes in advance)!
TRIBUTE TO JACQ:
Asinus asinorum in sæcula sæculorum.
"the greatest jac(q)ass in eternity!"
HAHAHA I FOUND THAT REALLY FUNNY.
Dum spiro, spero.
"As long as i breathe, i hope."
family meeting at 10:08 PM
Monday, February 19, 2007
mayowanaide to ienakatta
i couldnt tell you not to lose your waytodokanai omoi mo aru
there are thoughts that will never reach yousamishisugiru egao ga yurete
a smile that is too lonely quiverskizu wo nazotta Lonely good-bye
i puzzle over my wounds, lonely good-bye
jounetsu sae itamu yo
even my passion hurts
eien no no kakera oikakete
as i chase after an eternal fragment
kimi ga sora datta, yume datta
you were the sky, you were the dream
moete tokeru hibi wo...
the days that burn and melt.
family meeting at 7:15 PM
stop. just stop.
i just want it all to stop. you hear me? i want it to stop. to stop affecting me. stop making me lapse into these kind of depressed moods where i just want to lay down and cry.
guess you guys dont know what im talking about huh. im talking about HATE. FEAR. ANGER. JEALOUSY. and most of all...sorrow.
i want to be HAPPY. like i was last year. i was flipping through the photos i took last year at srcs...you know...the few treasured ones which were taken with an outdated cam? me, jess, gen, cola, yuezhen, ping, ros, karen, nicolette and sharon. we didnt win...of course we didnt. but we had the time of our lives that year...ending off with a bang. and that day was the happiest day of the year. do you remember? it involved a certain cake that said "eat if you love hammies".
-chicken's turf, published september05.
my feelings exactly. wait. oh they were already my feelings.
family meeting at 5:29 PM
hello friends, how do you do?take5 was actually fun-ner than i thought it would be, despite the fact that Xueying was late (AHEM) in the morning and Ali and i had to wait for her while Lingxi and Lizheng left first(presumably to get away from my bad mood-.-). we were all very entertained/horrified by Priya and Prav on the bus ride to CCAB, listening to various stories about canoeing, the trainings and their funny coach who only speaks chinese. when we got there, there were lion dance performance and national anthem and strange gay teacher walking around in tight shirt, but the highlight of the morning was, of course, the record-breaking. RJC is now proudly recorded in the Singapore Book of Records for having the largest number of people eating mandarin oranges while standing in formation. i had absolutely no idea that we are sitting in formation until i realised that oh, there were raffia strings around that people were supposed to follow. when the councillors somehow managed to squash everyone into the letters RJC, we all raised our oranges into the air for a photograph. HAHAHA it's really very cute. i had THREE oranges to eat because Moses doesnt eat fruits o.O and Gerald couldn't eat his. but it was quite relaxing just sitting there, occasionally posing for a photograph and gawking over Derek's 179$ bag. like Moses said, we could do this all morning. with apples, pineapples, kiwis..
then it was the carnival. i walked around the track with Lester and Yichen like 2 rounds, and we still couldn't find anything to do. oh but we found Mia:D so we decided to go feast on paus and watch a bit of talentime and then we noticed that the queue for the bouncy castle has disappeared!=O so we hastened our footsteps and rushed there (and took a detour so that we could all get balloons haha), and tada! there were YunYi and Pris and Liting and Qian Chen and Sixian and we all went in together and bounced and bounced and Yichen is crazy he bounced like mad and soon everyone was falling everywhere and IM SURE WHEN SIXIAN FELL SHE NEARLY PULLED MY SHIRT OFF. but it was really fun hahaha we stood in a circle, held hands and sang as we bounced, posed for photos and went hysterical. YAY bouncy goodness. after that i couldn't walk straight or think straight for 5min. then we went to play a bit of bridge, and ate YUMMY YAM ICECREAM before we found our class playing uno with Mr. Hui. so sat down with them for a while, and talked to random people who walked past and watching people play zero point and hopscotch. then someone conjured up a frisbee and my lovely class played monkey frisbee:D and it was a lot of fun even though i cant throw properly. then we played indian poker and we drank a lot of water and then everyone was getting too roasted in the sun so our class packed up and we went for lunch in some western cafe in coronation plaza.
lunch was.. squashed. Moses, Shih Ee, GeraldK, Yifei, VictorL, Derek, Weiyang and i were all squashed at some small table in the corner of the cafe, before some group of people finally moved away and we used their big and spacious table while ShiDa, Waihan, and the other girls remained squashed at some small table:D we played silly games like threeup, and the macdonalds game(!!) where Moses kept laughing and missing his turn, and concentration until the auntie screamed at us to stop whacking the table, before we settled on the number game and truth&truth. but being the guai people that we are, nobody had anything scandalous to tell. or to ask for that matter. victor lim slyly escaped being questioned, completely. i nearly did! Moses has the best table manners in the world and Yifei eats the slowest. i play with my food. haha baddd.
then a lot of people left and whoever left moved ourselves to Macs@ Serene's and then people left to meet-ahem ogmates(liar) and stuff, and i was left with Yifei, Victor and Shih Ee and i can't remember what we did except playing lots of bridge and asshole taiti and then Yifei started drawing strange faces on his balloon. it's very funny hahaha go talk to Yifei online if you know him. it'll be a very animated conversation because he has tons of expressions to use. he finally CUT his balloon so that it deflated and then he brought the remains home oO then we went off in the rain because it was getting late and the three guys got lost looking for their busstop lol and my bus took forever to get me home. but whatever the case, i really had fun with my class and i'm so proud of myself for spending an entire day with them:D which ahem i tended to do quite often in the past.
thank you for being my companion. i miss you more than anything else in the world when i'm with you and then you're gone.saturday was pretty much boring except for sitting in macs with an old friend, and you realise that people really do change, and grow up.
sunday! sunday was fun! since we have absolutely no relatives here whatsoever, we went over to a family friend's house. i wholeheartedly expected it to be boring, but it turned out that there were a bunch of kids there my age. so i ended up playing mahjong with two sec3 hci guys, a j1 cjc guy, and being very disturbed by my brother who fell in love with the funny hci dude and wont stop bugging him, until my j2 rj senior came and the 5 of us went downstairs to play around with the frisbee. the cj guy wanted to ask the kids (literally, kids. they're like 4-10 years old) downstairs to be monkeys for us LOL but they didnt want to come, so we went to the games room to talk. the guy was trying to teach me how to throw a frisbee backhand but then i was so lousy i kept tossing it to all corners of the room except to him so he gave up after a while/: after dinner we went back down and the 3 of us embarked on the tedious task of teaching the host family's brothers how to play taiti and bridge and the cjc guy is extremely brilliant so the brothers could play one hand together decently in no time at all. APPLAUD the teachers:D but card games are generally anti-social so at least they were, for us, so we turned to I Never and Truth&Truth and they're the silliest games ever but in no time at all we were finding out about how one guy asked a girl out at p6 and love letters and so on:D it was HILARIOUS especially when the funny hci guy was telling us about his worst nightmare, which consisted of him standing with a white background, and a rock rolling towards him. it keeps getting bigger, and bigger, and in the end he gets squashed o.O haha okay it doesn't sound very funny here but we were all rolling on the floor when he told us and the rj girl laughs so scarily and infectiouslyxD then somehow in the end, we ended telling ghost stories and they were creepy and then the security guard chased us away and we all went home. whee;D
when i got home, i was supposed to go online, but i fell asleep waiting for my dad to bring the internet cable to my room. hell, i am so sorry.
i said i won't keep you waiting any more.
and life is a road i wanna keep goinglove is a river i want to keep flowinglife is road now and foreverwonderful journey
family meeting at 9:13 AM
Sunday, February 18, 2007
the scars are more obvious than the wounds.
so kawaii right! that's my niece cathryn. or is it katherine. or catherine. whatever. anyway she has elfin ears just like someone i know! =D
hm lets talk about saturday. we (as in our og) went fishing! didnt catch anything though. me and mark went to catch little guppy things (from the longkang!) to use as bait but in the end the ones we got were too tiny. oh we went to lower seletar to catch fish. there were nice uncles there though they gave us bait and stuff. and they gave us a sea bass they caught! it was pretty! so julia (our ogl) took it home to eat. she put it in a PIZZA BOX goodness.
there. um today was a pretty much ok ok day. angpaos, the usual. good food all around. tmr is random angpao collection day. lets hope people are GENEROUS. hinthint.
how does it feel knowing that you're the reason i wont give up?
family meeting at 6:41 PM
I LOVE YOU:D
yes it will soar and bring the unspeakable troubles away, all in the winds of a place called home.
family meeting at 12:48 AM
Saturday, February 17, 2007
1. Honestly, what color is your underwear?
uh now? pink. =)2. Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
someone special. dont be kp!3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
using my psychic skills skills to help superman resuce lois lane. 4. Honestly, what did you do today?
i went fishing. (REALLY) and i just came back from reunion dinner.5. Honestly, do you think you are attractive?
-flicks hair around- what do you think?6. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
i sulked around like always. = bad?7. Honestly, do you watch disney channel?
NOPE. i dont have it. HAHA.8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
yup.9. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
you, the person who's reading this right now.10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
nope.11. Honestly, what is your mood right now?
empty. worried. things like that.12.Honestly, have you had an eating disorder?
tried and failed. its hard to train when you havent had lunch.13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute?
YES. ALOT.14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
duhhhh.16. Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
how about couldnt care less?17. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?
i'm sure you know.18. Honestly, are you loyal?
yes. to a fault.19. Honestly, are you in denial?
good question.20. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now?
.. that sounds like a question for ting li ping. i am sooo innocent please.21. Honestly, who is your best friend?
i really hope it's you. (:22. Honestly, have you ever consumed alcohol?
XUEYING!!!!!! BACARDI!!!! we really didnt rape liping.23. Honestly, do you like someone?
if you mean the opposite sex, yeahh somehow. i think.24. Honestly, does anyone like you?
i really really really hope so.25. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?
with WHO?26. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly?
of course man. -.^SOME GIRLY PERCENTAGE THING WHICH IS QUITE ENTERTAINING
Body:
[] You own over 10 bottles of nail polish
[] You own a designer purse
[] You own perfume that cost over $60
[] You have (have had) fake nails
[] You have more body/hair products than you can use
[] Your pet is a chihuahua/Pomeranian/Siamese/Min Pin/Puggle
[] You have clothes/shoes/accessories for your pet
[] You have enough clothes to cover an entire refugee camp.
[] You have enough pictures to create your own wallpaper.
[] A pink comforter, walls or sheets. *looks over* oops
Total: 0
Do you:
[] Spend more time at the mall than you do at home/work
[] Have a hair color that is not natural
[] Have "blonde moments" at least once a day
[] Buy stuff because it's awesome and then never wear it
[X] Constantly keep your phone at your side
[X] Dance around in your room when nobody else is home
[] Have a name for your car
[] Know what celebrity is dating who and who broke up this week
[] Refuse to go out in public without makeup
[] Prefer to be called "princess"
Total: 2
DO YOU ADORE:
[] Makeup
[] Glitter
[] The color pink
[X]shopping
[] Jewelry
[] Mirrors
[] Chick flicks
[] Shoes
[X] Rainbows
[] Unicorns
[] Disney Movies
[] Candles
[X] Flowers
[X] Stuffed Animals
[] Purses
Total: 4
DO YOU SHOP AT:
[] supre
[] bardot
[] myer
[] mischeif
[] dotti
[] mossimo
[] country road
[X] fcuk
[] gasp
[] dangerfield
[] bras n things
[] chain reaction
Total:1
DO YOU SAY:
[] Bitch
[x] Whatever
[x] Oh my gosh
[] Hun
[] Fugly
[] That's hot (ironically :/ )
[] Dunzo
[x]Darling
[]Psh
[] Cutie
[] Hottie
[] Totally
[] For Sure
[] Fabulous
Total: 3
Do You Religiously Read:
[] Cosmopolitan
[] Glamour
[] Marie Claire
[] Elle
[] Vogue
[] People
[] Us Weekly
[] Star
[] Self
[] PerezHilton.com
[] Dlisted.com
[] 17online.com
[] people.com
[] usmagazine.com
[] popsugar.com
Total: 0
Have You Seen:
[X] Legally Blonde
[] Elizabethtown
[x] Mean Girls
[] Now & Then
[] The Notebook
[] A Walk to Remember
[] Sweet Home Alabama
[] Where the Heart is
[] Just my luck
[] John Tucker Must Die
[X] Centerstage
[] Bring it On
[] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[] Mona Lisa Smile
[] My Girl
Total: 3
Are you Addicted to...
[] America's next top model
[] Project runway
[X] Desperate Housewives
[] The Simple life
[] 8th & Ocean
[] Sex & the city
[X] Grey's Anatomy
[] The O.C.
[] Laguna Beach/The Hills
[] Nip/Tuck
total: 2
TOTAL: 15
COUNT UP HOW MANY YOU CHECKED AND MULTIPY BY 2 - That's your girly percentage!
15x2=30%
RIGHT....
family meeting at 11:25 PM
pain staysi have the bruise and the swell to prove it. it doesn't matter whether there's the ice pack or the spray or even the bruise cream the constant rubbing or even the concern from people around, because all it takes is a gentle impact on your fragile shin guard and
voila. it is back to stay.
i wish so badly that any one of you could just come and talk to me right now i am at home with my family and all alone. does that make sense? it's so clear in my mind that evening when we sat in the semi-darkness freezing cold with the music blasting in our ears, and then we abandoned the narrow aisle and walked to boat quay to look at the lights and river and sky, and i told you what that means and for a while you made me think that i was wrong. but hell, day after day it becomes clearer that i was not. i miss talking to you. it clears my head up and helps me to understand just what on earth is going on in that chaos of neurons up there that i usually have problems sorting out. but now i can't find you any more, it's like nothing i say gets through.
ah what the hell. chinese new year sucks.
family meeting at 5:44 PM
Thursday, February 15, 2007
pain turned inside out.
you know how when you get hit on the shin by that line drive you werent looking at? there's the shock, and the numbness. before you know it you cant walk properly. so you limp off the field. and then comes the hard part. you have to rub the bruise to make it better. which makes it hurt all the more. then maybe you want to go back onto the field. and so you do. but then, with every step you take the throb reminds you that it's there.
life's like that. only there's no magic ice spray.
have faith.
family meeting at 8:39 PM
i hate it.
i hate you for not being sensitive for rushing when things are obviously not right. i hate realising that i love you more than ever after you are gone. i hate sitting shoulder-to-shoulder next to you knowing that things will never be right because i can never talk to you about the pain. i hate ankles that forbid lateral movements, elbows that jerk and fingers bent the wrong way. i hate flu. i hate the over-enthusiasm that i once upon a time infected you with and now you radiate. i hate not being able to tell you anything and everything any more. i hate needing your affirmations, getting your affirmations and fearing the loss of your affirmations. i hate knowing that i am keeping you waiting and not caring. i hate seeing you everywhere i go. i hate promising myself to live for passion and not deadlines all the while with the sinking feeling that my life will never change. i hate inspirational talks that make you think but not do. i hate angst. i hate the judgement on your choice of friends. i hate deciding to give myself and give you a chance only to turn away in disappointment all the while smiling and finally when i talk nobody bothers to understand and we all learn to cry only on the inside. i hate knowing that you're right but i don't want it that way. i hate talking about my family, so could you not turn me away when i actually decide to talk. i hate messing up when i truly know i can do better. i hate being caught in a scene that should never have happened and take all your friendly teasings when i just want to tell you to shut up. i hate knowing that the next time i fall, it will be painful and hard and i might not be able to pick myself up because i have forgotten how. i hate the fear. i hate coming close to tears because of you yet never be able to find the words to tell you. i hate knowing that i care but not being able to show it. i hate being so very very close to you at one point yet not being able to accept your other side. i hate my phone bill. i hate all the implying and the hints and do you think i'm stupid.
i hate hating it saps away your energy.
family meeting at 7:17 PM
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
i read this in a book.
I wondered what happened when you offered yourself to someone, and they opened you, only to discover you were not the gift they expected and they had to smile and nod and say thank you all the same.
family meeting at 10:56 PM
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
school makes me less moody. and being alone is very very very bad for me. but i like to be alone. i think my class thinks i have a split personality. sometimes i sit and joke around with them and sometimes i just randomly go off sometimes by myself.
anyway thanks to those of you who've in some way shown support. It helped to know that there are people who care. (:
Just like a star across my sky,
just like an angel off the page,
you have appeared to my life,
feel like I'll never be the same,
just like a song in my heart,
just like oil on my hands,
Oh, I do love you
family meeting at 5:51 PM
Sunday, February 11, 2007
softballers love the 123456 thing. dont ask me why. oh JOY! (pun intended!) xD you were looking a the camera!
did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?
family meeting at 6:39 PM
Friday, February 09, 2007
my world crashed today. on a temperature scale, absolute zero. i never thought i could get a whole two grades lower than prelims. i guess it wasnt meant to be.
i lied to my parents and said i didnt care, and that i expected it. ya right. i like it in the darkness of the night, when you can cry and cry, and no one will hear you.
after receiving the results i went from depressed to angry. and that's hyper angry mode where i snap off anyone (who is stupid enough to say stupid things to me)'s head without a second thought.
gen: are you ok?
me: YA.
gen: i dont like cynical answers.
me: i'm sorry if my answer has caused you discomfort or distress in any way.
(silence)
i told huimin that she had to choose to commit to fps. i'm sorry i did it, but i guess if she could answer me directly "no", then that was where her heart was. i rejected nicola's calls 6 times. i refused to count during stretches. i anyhow threw balls to shuting. i refused to run to field balls. i hardly said a word to anyone. except to make a pissed off remark or two.
training cheered me up alot. especially at the end when we started turning cartwheels and doing random cheerleadery stuff (like human pyramid), and playing pepsicola and zhong ji mi ma. but all good things must come to an end. i shouldnt be feeling this way. i shouldnt.
because that kind of hurt cant go away.
family meeting at 11:41 PM
Thursday, February 08, 2007
today, i am grateful.
thank you all, for talking to me, making me laugh, keeping me company, being patient with me, and just being so unbelievably nice that i sincerely feel undeserving.
some people have it all: family, cca, friends, og, class, academics, admirers, pets, the sporty genes, money, sexy legs, love. some people don't. i don't. the easiest way to live life, is not to dwell on what you don't have, but instead focus your energy on what you truly enjoy doing, and the people you love. give yourself a chance to be a happier person, take a deep breathe, before you tackle the other challenges. stress is never meant to stump you, only to motivate you to go further. believe in yourself. "hey i'm me, i can handle this, by hook or by crook." if you think that you don't deal well with stress, learn to manage it, not allow yourself to go wild with it. and finally, sharing your feelings with other people might just be the best thing you can do for yourself, may it be positive feelings, negative ones, through serious conversations or just ranting. sometimes you feel like your friends just don't understand, or their replies are just so cliched, but nevertheless it will make you feel better to just talk it out. i never used to believe in it, but now i know that you don't have to put up a strong front for anyone to see, not even yourself.
just little things that have kept me going
do you?
family meeting at 7:09 PM
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
you know that feeling you get, when your breathing gets deeper and there's this empty space inside you... and you fight to control the tears. because crying invokes questions, and questions are bad, because the answers are worse.
its all too familiar. two years ago. only this time, i dont have a reason. more and more, i'm feeling the need for solitude. i enjoy hiding by myself in some ulu corner and studying by myself. maybe on some subconscious level, i can feel like i'm not part of the world.
it's my own battle. wenny once told me "no one likes to hang out with someone who is consistently moody." even i can testify to that. therefore i will try my best to keep it to myself. no one should carry this burden but me. i will smile for those who make it just a little easier.
it comforts me somewhat to type this all out. so much for keeping it to myself. anyway no one really reads this right. i wonder.
family meeting at 9:03 PM
Monday, February 05, 2007
The 5 love languages of teenagers
1.Words of Affirmation
2.Acts of Service
3.Gifts
4.Touch
5.Quality Time
jem i still remember. =) everyone has a primary love language. now i know very clearly what mine is. wanna guess?
family meeting at 10:19 PM
Saturday, February 03, 2007
scarcity is the excess of human wants over what can actually be produced.
i'm facing scarcity of TIME, LOVE and ANTI-MOSQUITO DEVICES.
today at ora dinner, a cockroach fell from the ceiling onto naomi. the conversation went something like
tami: OMG NAOMI YOU HAVE A COCKROACH CRAWLING OVER YOU.
naomi: AHHH GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!
(whole table screams and runs in opposite direction of cockroach)
at which point everyone started laughing until our tummies hurt.
hmm other interesting things that happened at ora dinner:
i think ms chow told yuezhen and liping that they must bond more with the guys. So they decide:
yuezhen: i'll go chit, and liping will go chat. so together, we are chit chat!
(brief interval)
nicola: i want something sweet.
yuezhen: there go eat celery sticks.
nicola: yeah man so sweet.
yuezhen: oh haha i know so touching.
nicola: no i meant the celery sticks are so sweet.
yuezhen: YA thats why i asked you to go eat them right?
nicola: ...
yuezhen: CHIT!
liping: CHAT!
oh and we played mahjong and i got 4 huas and one mousey! but liping said that i couldnt open a flower shop because the mouse would eat all my flowers.
i'm going to study econs now. and later chem. i dont think i'll make it through the night. softball training tmr, ms chow is so enthu about it, i'd feel bad if i dont go. sigh i dont think she likes me anyway. i feel so insignificant next to everyone.
it's time to move on.
family meeting at 11:59 PM
Thursday, February 01, 2007
look at us. i wonder what we were thinking this nice day in chiangmai. we were all so happy just to be there. =) Chiangmai was one of the best things that ever happened. i'm happy that i was one of those who went. we came back closer than ever. what with all the drinking bacardi and bridge and mahjong! i have the best batchmates ever.
i've said this many times already: i wanna go back. this year, we'll make it happen again, i swear.
srcs and nats are coming. are we ready? 10, 11, 16 (auds and yuezhen's birthday!), 17th, 18th march.
fps research plan is due on the 9th.
srp aptitude test is on saturday.
i think i'm going to miss two consecutive monday trainings. coach is going to kill.
bio test, week 6. maths test, week 7. econs test, week 8.
what will the next week bring?
give me strength.
family meeting at 7:06 PM
