today was WILD WILD WET DAY. yay. =D we had so much fun with the kids and splashing around and stuff :D and the volunteers are so nice! there's this kind of hot guy called james and his friend weihan (who btw learns jap and is PROded) at the end while we were waiting for the kids to bathe we were camwhoring (i hope to get photos soon yeahh!!!!) after everyone went home me and shuting went to play around somemore and OMGGG have i ever told you how floating around in the wave pool is so nice and comfortable??? if we fell asleep, would the lifeguards jump in and save us? xD my cheeks and nose are red now i wonder if they'll start peeling oops. IN MY DEFENCE I DID PUT SUNBLOCK!

well then after that (and horrible bubbletea) i left shuting at kembangan and went to visit my grandfather at CGH. he's in ward 74, bed 44. they moved him out of the icu because there was nothing more they could do already i guess. for all of you who are clueless of its connotation, 7444 means straight die die die. i was looking around the ward, and the patients there all have this wretched look in their eyes, like it's the end of the world. i saw in bed 43 a man whose leg was newly amputated, in bed 42, an emancipated man so thin he puts anorexic people to shame. and in bed 45, an old woman(man? i cant remember) who was staring at me. i just smiled the best i could but i wonder if (s)he noticed.

its just so heartwreching to see his comatose form, laboured breathing, arms and fingers bloated from water retention, as well as scarred by the multiple injections, blood tests and iv lines. and not to mention he's so thin now. and knowing that he might never wake up, knowing that this might have been the last time i ever see him alive.

i was never close to any of my grandparents, so i guess its not that bad for me. but it took all i had to stand there at the end of bed 44 and try not to cry, to retain the stoned expression i've always shown.

i guess this is goodbye.

This shall be a post addressed to anonymous people.

im very angry at you right now. i may not have noticed, but people have and i just found out. for now, i shall give you the benefit of the doubt and hope that the things you said and did were not of the most selfish and egoistical intentions. and if you did, i dont see how, or WHY you can be so hypocritical.

im afraid for you, for your feelings and for your pride. i wonder if you can see it yourself? i caution: dont expect things from others.

you, i really wonder if the sacrifice was worth it.

im stressing and i cant think of the 5th criteria so im blogging to relax and take my mind off fps for awhile. we need to work on our brainstorming techniques, as well as structure of our responses.

wei shuting wont wake up i've called her like ten thousand times and she still wont wake up. what shall we do??

its so hard to watch someone suffer. how can i conduct myself with such emotional detachment, like i dont care at all. ひどいね、ひどい。people not part of my present, do they not exist? might i just forget about them and be concerned only with my narrowed view of the world? yet i know im not stone cold.

I pray for his blessed release.

how do i say i'm sorry



STUPID CHRIS-TIN CHENG YOU CHEATED ON MY TEST WTH.


anyway. I LOVE SMURFIES. campaigning isn't really my cup of tea, but JSLE makes it all worthwhile with the food, ideas, laughter and of course much much thanks to junliang and kennedy and OG and shih ee for helping out and everyone else who has lent us markers gave us encouraging words wore our stickers listened to our silly attempts at campaigning. thank you thank you so much. we aren't even halfway through campaigning yet and already it's so so memorable. 3 more days! WE CAN DO IT(: support Jevon Shuting Lynette Elton, and Just Smurf Like Everyone! vote for the smurfs(:


i am koping tami's blogpost because it is SO FREAKING FUNNY HAHAHHAHA i cant stop laughing. her blog is http://sprinklezzz.livejournal.com/ mhm. as usual i accessed using mummy's friend page yay.

softball

There are nine players on the softball field. First is the pitcher, who is the most injured player on the team. Why? Ever try to move your arm in a big circle just to throw a stupid ball, pal? I doubt it. (HAHA YOU KNOW WHAT THAT ACTUALLY. MAKES SENSE. ._.) So if you don't believe us, then go out and try it yourself. There, I knew that'd answer your question. The pitcher's job is simple, to throw the ball to the batter to hit. The one who makes sure that the pitcher's pitches don't go awry is the catcher. The softball catcher is the prettiest. Some teams go with the prettiest one wear the catcher's mask so she does not distract all the rowdy boys in attendance from the rest of the game. (hahahaha DAWN hahahahaha) The first basemen, er woman guards, what else, first base and is in charge of doing the macarena during the seventh inning stretch. The second basemen/woman and shortstop are interchangeable, and are often identical twins so as to confuse the opposition. The third base player is the most important on the team, as she holds up the runners and is the sister of the school hunk. There are three players in the outfield(left fielder, center fielder, and right fielder, duh!), but since no body really cares about them, they often play poker during their time when their team is out on the field. (oh noez they exposed our secret!!)

i've been having disturbing dreams lately. its not like the type where you wake up trembling and cowering under your blanket because yuezhen might be hiding in the shadows ready to kill you with poision leaves. its the type that is.. realistic. things that might actually happen in real life. although i cant remember what the dream was about 10 minutes after i wake up, i get the half pissed half depressed feeling anyway. and that lasts for more than 10 minutes. its not fair these dreams even pursued me into the brief 15 minute respite i had in the library with xueying. do you believe that dreams are something your subconscious is trying to tell you?

most of the people i talk to are not online. da jie! good luck with your campaigning! one day you must bring me out shopping ok??? i dont trust my own tastes anymore.

it is raining now, i love rain at night. its so cozy and nice to sleep. kal just asked me if i was going to run in the rain. haha ok i only do that when im bored and have NOT just bathed ok! but dont you think its very nice to feel the rain in your face? you just abandon all sanity when you decide to run. anyway i cant run in the rain anymore, not in school u. or else it will be literally free show for all the guys and they'll all have nosebleeds (HAHA ok no la im not hot at all. maybe if it were coughtinglipingcough...)

at this point i must say a big thankyou to my mummy (MY REAL MUMMY) for breastfeeding me for 1 and a half years. and cooking alot of yummy healthy food for me all the time. i think thats the reason why i enjoy a good immune system and health! yay! like how im not likely to fall sick just by running in the rain (follow my train of thought?)

i had creme brulee today. ORANGE creme brulee with burnt sugar on top, topped off with strawberry gelato. yummy. in the morning, after 3 hours of debating equality vs fairness vs meritocracy in education and poor and rich, smart and stupid, hardworking and not hardworking (and trying to assume ceteris paribus!) i set out for city hall to meet my parents for lunch. on the way out, i purposely passed by ri to say hi to coach, met juniors, then ran off again, only to meet lydia lim walking to the mrt too! =D yay she's really nice. she's mrs lydia tan now though, and cant decide which one to call herself. anyway had lunch at prego at raffles plaza hotel! yay. the food was (y)! i was so full after that. must train harder to lose the extra calories. then was suntec carrefour shopping (I HAVE FOOD NOW. i shall bring ruffles to fps meeting tmr JUST FOR SHUTING yay.) then, home, sleep and off to grandma's house for dinner. there, i offered my wonderful services in teaching my grandfather how to use his new digi cam. after i came home, heroes, and blogging. so here i am now with my entire unproductive saturday spread out infront of me. do i want to go sleep now?

my alarm is now the happy tree friends themesong. for the record, i think that happy tree friends is very sadistic and disturbing. it scares me to think that i used to think writing similar texts was fun. however, their theme song is very retarded and therefore its nicer than any of the nokia tones. i may change it soon though. actually after writing this I CHANGED IT oh how fickle am i?

ok i guess i shall stop deluding myself and go attempt to do some of differentiation. yes i shall. goodbye everyone.

everytime i miss you a star falls from the sky. so if you look up at night and there are no stars left, its all your fault.

someone told me something that i wanted to hear. and it was spontaneously offered information. it made me... happy and sad at the same time. (this is called amphipathic emotions)

the windbreaker printing people are annoying. they printed my religion instead of my name. yes. THATS RIGHT. they printed my name is CHRISTIAN. oh wait. no not christian. (wait for it..) they printed CHRIS-TIAN!!!! NOT BAD RIGHT. im annoyed i really wanted to start wearing my softball windbreaker. now its being reprinted and i have no idea when they will give it back. sigh oh well. actually printing screwups are kind of funny when they dont happen to you. like e.g.

chong zhi --> chong 2hi (OWNAGEEE HAHA)
keefe --> keepe
bel --> bei

i decided that i really love softball. not just the sport, but the people too. and the seniors. and the guys. yay i think our batchmates are all really nice guys. like how they carried water for us in chiangmai. im so glad that we're going to spend 2 years with them.

our season starts in (COUNTDOWN) 12 days. we can do it. i know we can.

1. speak to me in my love language, i'll listen to you.
2. i miss the scribbled conversations we used to have.
3. i miss stoning in class during break.
4. crasins rock my world.
5. shuting i SWEAR they're GOLD.
6. anyone read monday's paper? emo is not a fad, not to alot of people.
7. make the sad realisation that we train longer than we sleep.
8. is the octopus' lucky number, according to tans tans the expert in yamyam biscuits.
9. congrats to everyone who made it to the campaigning stage. =)
10. lets go study bio. mugger toads unite

你该死的温柔。

Create your own Friend Test here



Create your own Friend Test here

if that doesnt work, http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/150113


AHHHHHHH.
My small little brain cannot absorb so many things at one go.
I'm tired I just want my sleep zzz.


Maybe some people have lived amongst happy people so much that they never learnt to be sensitive to others' emotional needs.


why do i try so hard?

training today was... tiring but yet not tiring. do i make sense? i guess not. I HATE HATE HATE HATE this! left me stoning the whole day. =( and whining and complaining to countless people (oops sorry). i have a new resolve to one day gain enough courage to buy it from the guy at 7 eleven. (or use my wonderful persuasive skills to make shuting buy for me =D )

on a different note, GREAT THANKS TO MY HERO!!! (haha pun you should know who you are).

my timetable now is HORRRIBLE HOW CAN WE HAVE CHEM PRAC IN THE AFTERNOON AFTER LUNCH THAT IS INSANITY. =(

because i know what i want.

亲爱的大姐：
CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE BLESS ME WITH PRODUCTIVITY???? =( see i'm blogging and i'm probably going to fall asleep after this (w00t!) well i guess i can TRY to do some more cell structure bio. LATER HAHA.

mummy is expecting! therefore she bought size 15 shirt. mhm mhm! makes sense right? but then, mummy killed daddy so long ago for his money. by pitching a ball to his head. oh dear. THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE. =D wonder who wonder who! oh oh look what we came up with walking to macs.

mummy: mummy's name is mummy :). dead chicken. plays pitcher (KKK!!!) second right and centre!
大姐: shuting. mafia chicken. position unknown.
二姐: jacq. the amazing multiplying chicken. plays second and right.
三姐: sixian. golden chicken. plays catcher.
四姐: liping. chicken imposter. plays catcher and right.
五姐: xueying. electrifying chicken. plays pitcher, first, and short.
六姐: chris. one legged chicken. plays third.
六妹: gen. flying chicken. plays left (that's because she's never right! 0:))
七妹: cola. squishy chicken. plays first.

note: chris and gen are born on the same day, however, chris is older by 10 hours

yay that's our flock! =D i wouldnt want to play softball with anyone else. GO CHICKENS! we should do the tomatoman cheer sometime.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
TOMATOMAN!
GO TOMATOMAN!

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand

what upsets you? failure? fear? loss? rejection?

When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

what gives you strength? family? friends? faith? love?

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

what makes you smile?

hello! i'm very happy teeheehee:D for one, i finally caught up on my sleep after SEAYC. i'm so sorry i went for training on wednesday and stumpled around like some fool with no reflexes D: but now i'm back for more action yeahh. and i just spent the whole of yesterday doing nothing, which probably wasn't very wise since there's not much time and tons to do, but it keeps me happy. so YAY. i have so much to say about SEAYC, softball, bad interviews, friends, life, the weather, the mouldy orange i just found, but i can't bring myself to sit down and write about everything, so.


thank you all(:


more and more, have i grown to realise why is it that when i first came to RJC, i found it really difficult to adapt and fit in. my OG wasn't exactly bonded, and never went out, i just had so much TIME on my hands, that i felt completely lost. i need action in my life, need it to be filled with activities, people, work and fun. now i'm contentedly occupied (although i still hate it when things eat up my weekends), and i actually look forward to school. does that seem kind of contradictory? i like to be involved, but i want my breaks too.


"everything happens for a reason."
"we'll learn the reason eventually, but before that we have to live with the pain."
perhaps. friend i hope you're having fun in India! maybe i'll be real motivated to do well at SSEF next year, provided i get into SRP; maybe a hot guy will really profess his love for me in July(:


a bit of distance does everyone good, because it gives you more of your own life back. good friends are good friends, friends that are good. it's a long, short, two years ahead, we must make the most of it(:


i will fight.

for who will write about tropocollagen if i do not?

I LOVE MUMMY. =D MUMMY DONT YOU LOVE ME (OH of course you do). do you like my video mummy??? I MADE IT ESPECIALLY FOR YOU!

mummy is cheating on daddy! she went out with (insert name) today! they went to a dark corner to celebrate her birthday! oh well all guys are.... (does coolioz feelers action!) =D MUSIC RESEARCH INDEED!!!

i love mummy and all my siblings! next time mummy you can bring us out for dinner at seoul garden then you can cook for all of us ok? and dont let cola cook mummy she can only cook carbon.

goodnight mummy, i will do my tutorial tomorrow i PROMISE ok? love you! and i hope you wear your birthday present. we promise we wont laugh.

training was exhausting. we eat, sleep and play softball. xD somehow it's really fun.

One... you're like a dream come true...
Two... just wanna be with you...
Three... girl it's plain to see... that your the only one for me...
Four... repeat steps one through three...
Five... make you fall in love with me...
If ever I believe my work is done... then I start Back at One

i can feel the subtle pain in my shoulder. i guess i should have expected it la, from all the warm up throws when it hurt even to throw short distances. oh well what to do live with it i guess. everyone in softball plays with injuries. yuezhen with her sprained ankle (LOSER we all know you actually stepped off the curb lorrr!!!) jacq with her poor poor fingernail bleeding incident (that was quite owww)and her general acute pain in her arm. nicola who cant throw without managing to twist her leg muscle (dont ask how), sixian just recovered from her hospitalization, shuting with her multiple blisters (on her hands i have no idea how she manages to bat) and bruises. i guess that makes only gen, liping and xueying injury free for now. FOR NOW.

we lost hwach today, but it was ok. because we were the better batting side (LIKE, DUH!) i think everyone touched the ball at least once. see all we have to do is contact the ball =D i'm actually glad that i'm not first batter anymore (kudos to bel who made the pitcher pitch like 9-10 balls to her!! GO FOUL QUEEN!) it takes alot of stress off. i managed to get my ball on the base line towards ellen at 3rd base who fumbled and the other time i got a direct walk on the first pitch because of HP. well. naturally.

actually i think we can make it this year. now we know our mistakes and we know how to correct them. 失败是成功之母！cheers friends. love ya all. the ones who want to win the most will get the gold. lets show coach that we can be his dream team too.

im sure anyone who was put out on the field really tried their best.

coach - "chris you know you lost the game because of your overthrow. you let the runs in."
"fielders who used to be sharp and are now making errors, there only can be two reasons for. first, you are slacking off during training. or two, you think you're too good to train properly."
deb - "don't think that because you've played in first team for 10 years that you'll still be playing first team now."

im sure all these comments are not directed at me la. IM SORRY OK IM SORRY FOR LOSING BOTH GAMES FOR YOU GUYS. I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY. but if you dont believe me that i tried, i have nothing to say. do you think i actually ENJOY getting struck out, missing the balls that come to me, that i TAKE PLEASURE in watching my thrown ball miss the first base completely? everytime that kind of thing happens i beat myself up over it. still i have to SMILE and shout "LETS GO RAFFLES LETS GO!" because why? the team gets affected by its players emotions. and you never ever let coach see you crying. never.

and im sure i slack off during training. its not like i keep leaving training early to go for this concert or that concert, or i consistently keep missing ok. its not like i refuse to do circuit batting, or i refuse to run after the ball that's been hit past me. its not like i dont TRY for balls that dont come straight at me. its not like that at all.

do you think being first batter is easy. DO YOU? the whole team's spirit is set on how well the first batter hits. HITS. i said HITS. she sets the pace. if i get struck out what do you think happens. dont tell me not to worry about being struck out because its true.

this has happened before. GUESS WHEN. my emotions are tied to my softballing skills. RIGHT OK THE WORLD HAS SCREWED ME OVER. ok fine i think i was also getting conceited. (not anymore) and theres no one to blame but myself. so my throws, fielding and batting are screwed up. im trying to find my mistakes and correct them. i CARE. i want the gold just as much as anyone. so just dont tell me that i dont try.

get yourself together chris, because no one else but you knows how to put the pieces in the right places.

take a photo with someone more than 1.9m tall


this is just random


brokeback mountain


take a photo with a domestic animal


group hug. awww.

I'm afraid it's been too long to try to find the reasons why
I let my world close in around a smaller patch of fading sky
But now I've grown beyond the walls to where I've never been
And it's still winter in my wonderland

wrong


HELLO WORLD. i would like nothing better to collaspe and die onto my bed because training was really one of the most tiring yet. BUT NO i must stay awake yes yes i must do some work. im already beginning to feel the ache, and i bet tmr all of us will have that deep penetrating fatigue that follows this category of training.

i am feeling very proud of myself at the moment teehee this feeling will probably last for a day or so mhm! great ego boosters.

the return of the giant (sooo not mosquito) bite. but instead of just swelling up, it decided to go one step further and SPREAD. YES it is itchy and painful and now virtually half my calf is affected. maybe its mad calf disease HAHA ok lets hope it'll go away. you dont suppose that when it bit me the first time it laid eggs right.. because the bite is in exactly the same place. O.O ok i dont think so. hm.

ok i shall go now goodnight sigh do tutorial first and pack bag for o2! my buddy is pretty and nice and i knew her before! =D

dont you love your pancreas? i know i do!
HELLO I AM FEELING HIGH TODAY WHICH I MISS BEING HIGH SO IM GOING TO ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF HIGHNESS I CAN YAY.

anyway GOOD LUCK FRIEND!!! may you be BLESSED with all the good luck in the world and dont worry!!! i'm sure you'll do very very very well because you are YOU =D have faith!

i shall go ATTEMPT TO study now. (oh dear i hear choruses of MUGGER! MUGGER!!! oops. xD)

I'M FREAKING INSECURE ABOUT SSEF.
personal challenge, do you understand what a personal challenge is? do you feel the pride. how about hurt pride. do you understand the fear of failure. do you know the difference between not doing all because you haven't tried your best, and failing even when you have put in your all.


i'm also freaking proud of our tiny little micro-spheres. the tiny guys that have been bobbing in and out of focus, running around in excitement under the heat of the light. the little creatures that we spent so many days staring at in the lab, so many days angsting over, in between all the conversations about books, movies and life.


LISTEN TO LINKIN PARK AND JUMP AND SCREAM AND ROCK AND ROLL AND JAM AND BREAD AND MOVE IT MOVE IT. charting and shumaine are here to steal the show.


GO US GO US GOGOGO 3 days to judging day. our poster resolution will not screw up and it will turn out gorgeous and I CAN MEMORIZE THESE 1390 WORDS.


i thank you from the bottom of my heart that SSEF and SEAYC and FPS and RCLF are staggered in a good, manageable way.


I AM A SPONGE. no please i am not declaring my love for spongebob, and why so many people like that ugly (YES I JUST CALLED HIM UGLY HAHA) sea creature who lives in that ridiculous pineapple under the sea (BTW that is biologically impossible unless his pineapple is impermeable by water). even ichimaru is alot nicer than spongebob. =D

i hate being a freaking sponge!!! or maybe i like it. i shall try to look at it as one of my strengths. damn. it IS one of my strenghts i just cant control it. maybe i'm too powerful HAHAHHAA ok i am prattling on and i bet NONE of you can tell what i'm thinking -NYEHHHHH- lets see if you're psychic or not!

i want to thank chewy for unwittingly sending me a song that i've been wanting but never found for a LONG LONG LONG TIME. and that is irreplacable by beyonce! i remember the first time i saw the mv i tried to duplicate it to yuezhen and ended up going "to the left to the left! (points right)". seriously zuo you fen bu qing!

today i went out had rclf meeting then medcine talk then went late for softball match then went for cip and had uh linner with cola then i went home, had dinner and fell into bed exhausted at 8 (no stamina xD). and i woke up half an hour ago to (what else?) do research for FPS before shuting charmaine and joshua kill me tmr. and guess whatt!! LEXIS NEXIS IS DOWN OMG this is so bad. ok fine i shall use google then. i dont think it likes me. RCLF IS SCARY ITS LIKE fps but in a very realistic way. ah i love the way fps is so pseudo realistic.

hm. let me emo about how i'm ugly and fat. anorexia is tempting sometimes, but haha even if i wanted to i couldnt do it long term. it doesnt last once you start eating normally again AND did you know that it can kill your brain tissue??? (see i cant afford to get stupider) hm. what else can i moan about. OH YES hips. why are they so wide and defined. I DONT LIKEEEEE oh well i guess i will in later life haha childbearing hips indeed.

mood swings mood swings lets have a mood playground! we can have mood slides, mood sandpits and mood seesaws. we can open up and call it emoland, only for emokids! xD what a great business plan i shall go propse it to kaleni.

and you know what? IM JEALOUS. IM SO INCREDIBLY JEALOUS i'm turning green. (and black and white for that matter i'm wearing the rgs windbreaker -.^ ) but its ok because i'm starting to believe more and more.. no. i want to believe that things happen to us for a reason. and what cant kill is will only make us stronger, no? -.^

to the left to the left

i have pangsehed my friends to stay at home to work on ssef but of course it's not 10pm yet so i have no motivation to concentrate which is why I AM HERE to talk:D


i have decided, again, that I LOVE MY CLASS. it doesn't matter that i'm probably the only one in the entire class to LOVE MY CLASS, or that there isn't really anyone to emo to, or that the guys are as segregated as water and oil, OR even that i secretly want to kick a number of people out of the class, IT MATTERS NOT. i love my classsss i'm going to bring my camera to school everything and take pictures of them my lovelies. i love being able to sit next to random people in class and end up laughing. i love lovely people who try so hard to drill econs into my brain even though i'm hopelessly stupid. i love the talk about how we're eventually going to play tennis. i love all my lab partners! i love the baldies and hairies and the shaved. i actually love having the space to be unhappy. i love being angsty and end up laughing at ridiculous things during chem lecture. i love sitting, talking to someone else, but still knowing that the class is near. or maybe not. maybe only you matter(:


PICTURES WILL COME.

Please leave us a tag! We don't mind if you tell us we're crazy, it won't be the first time! (:

chris
dengying
hui min
jingli
joanne
kokkoks
lynette
meera
nicole ann leong
runting
simin
simran
weiying
xinyi
yenlin
yihui
yuezhen

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